23 Days of L
by MissScaryKitty
Summary: In order to catch Kira, L has written his own name in the Death Note, giving himself 23 days left to live. When his fellow Wammy House prodigy, Annie A. Cohen, confronts him about it, she accidentally confesses her love for him after years of harboring secret feelings for the panda-eyed detective. What do the next 23 days have in store?
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: **In order to catch Kira, L has written his own name in the Death Note, giving himself 23 days left to live. When his fellow Kira investigator, Annie A. Cohen, confronts him about it, she accidentally confesses her love for him after years of harboring secret feelings for the panda-eyed detective. What do the next 23 days have in store?

**Important Notes:**

1. Annie A. Cohen is a prodigy of the Wammy House. The third child to be brought in by Watari after BB. Her codename is Orphan Annie (the cosmic joke of the century).

2. The story follows the live action version where L writes his own name in the Death Note, not Light.

**23 Days of L**

**Day 1:**

I place the Death Note down on the table beside him, leaving it open to the last written page. "L Lawliet will die peacefully of a heart attack in 23 days." That's what it says. And when I found it this morning, it shattered my entire world. It was written in L's own hand. He made this move not Kira, and it was irreversible. I shouldn't be surprised. Nothing L does should ever surprise me anymore. But I am devastated, I am angry, hurt, confused, lost… and I demand an explanation.

L looks down at the Death Note with those wide, dark-ringed eyes. Though his expression betrays no emotion I can tell he hadn't expected me to find it. I feel a certain amount of bitter satisfaction in this. I lean over the book, my fingers digging into the gray desk as I glare down at him. Now it was my turn to stare into his soul, to invade his personal space and make him squirm in his seat.

"I know there's a reason for this..." I tell him. My voice wavers between two octaves, my emotion barely contained, and I take a moment to gather myself. His toes grip tighter on the seat cushion as I swallow down my tears. "I know you have some brilliant explanation... But I just can't see it," I say, feeling the utter hopelessness of my words. Behind them lies a deep sadness that cuts through my anger and lays my heart open to him. I don't know if he realizes it or not, but I feel utterly, painfully, exposed. "You're not going to tell me are you? Why should L Lawliet, The World's Greatest Detective, explain himself to me? The answer is probably _painfully_ simplistic but did you ever once think of me when you chose to do this? Did you think of Watari or anybody else! Did you think about what it would do to us!" I'm yelling now, my tears flow freely, staining the Death Note as I let into him. "No, of course not. For you, it's always about the game... and winning at any cost. Tell me, is this your _final_ sacrifice? Or should I buckle my seatbelt and wait for the world to come crashing down in the next 23 days?"

L looks up at the ceiling like he's trying to see his thoughts play out above his head. I can see the analytical gears turn in his genius mind. "If sacrificing my life in order to catch Kira resulted in the destruction of the world, it wouldn't be a logical move." He explains, as if that would comfort me.

"That's not what I meant! Look at me goddamn it!" I cry, banging my fist on the table. L's eyes turn to mine, quietly waiting for me to explain myself. His shoulders round into a slightly more protective position, like he was shielding himself from me. "This isn't about winning or losing or even making the right decision. Do you not see that there are people in your life who need you?" … love you? My inability to say the words are more frustrating than trying to break through to him.

"I've made all the necessary arrangements, Annie-san," he tells me. "The world will be left in good hands. Once I'm gone, Watari will know what to do."

I nod sarcastically and pretend like everything is now crystal clear. "Alright, okay, that's good. And what about me?"

"I don't understand," he says.

"Were you just going to die quietly and not say a word to me about it? After all these years of knowing one another, you didn't have a single thought for me in your grand scheme to take your own life. Lovely."

"That's not true," he says, swiveling his chair to face me directly. "I've thought about you a lot, actually. You've been one of my only true friends, Annie-san. Besides Watari, you probably know me the best out of anyone. Therefore, I want you to care for Near and Mello. One of them will be my successor. With your instruction it should be easier to determine who it should be. You play an essential part in my plans." He gives me this silly, lopsided grin then and I lose it once more.

"God, you stupid, blind bastard!" I yell.

Without thought, I grab hold of the back of his head with both hands and smash my lips to his. My fingers grip determinedly into his wild hair, holding him in place as I have my little tantrum. L is completely ridged, his lips cold and deathly still against my own. I think it's the first time he's ever sat up straight in his life. An angry cry escapes me as I finally tear myself away.

"Annie…" he says, looking up at me with those dark, panda eyes. Finally, he understands.

"I don't want to say goodbye to you, I don't want to have to find you a successor, and I don't want to wake up a month from now and remember that you're no longer here!" I tell him. I feel as brittle as sugar glass, about to cave at any moment.

Unable to gather myself, I hug my arms around my middle and head for the stairs. I hear him say my name once more but I can't bring myself to stop.

I walk around the city for the rest of the day with no purpose other than to keep going. I walk and walk and walk and never once look at who keeps calling my cell phone. Eventually it stops buzzing around 12:00pm and I go home. When I open the door to my flat, I see Watari standing in the sitting room with a pained expression on his face. He knows. His eyes are filled with sympathy for me. Dropping my bag in the entryway, I run to him and he holds me like he used to when I was a child.

"I'm so sorry, Annie," he says, having known my feelings for L all along.

I just cry into his trench coat, feeling like a lost orphan once more.

AN: I would love a review everyone! I probably won't update without one (just being honest lol).


	2. Chapter 2

**Day 2:**

I'm staring at the black stains on my couch cushion from my eye-makeup. Below it is a drool mark, which I had woken up in. I remember falling asleep here after Watari left. I had upset myself to the point of exhaustion and couldn't manage to drag myself to my bedroom. Looking over to my phone on the coffee table, I turn it on and see that I have nine missed calls, all from an Unknown number. I'm assuming they're from Watari since he told me he had been looking for me all day yesterday. Eventually, he must have given up and gone to my flat. I'm not even going to entertain the idea that the phone calls were from L.

Last night, I asked Watari if he had known about L writing his name in the notebook before I found out. He said he didn't, that my discovery of it forced L to tell him since he was going to find out one way or another. I don't know if the fact that we were both left in the dark made it any better because I still feel betrayed.

Switching on the TV, I click to the nearest new channel. A dark-haired woman stares at me through the screen, her expression urgent, as she reads off the latest news update. "It has been confirmed. The criminal known as Kira is dead. We've received word that the members of the Kira Task Force will not reveal the killer's identity, nor will they explain the method of how Kira was able to kill his victims. This is to be the last the group or their leader, L, will comment on the case. We have asked L himself to make a statement but we assume he refuses due to the lack of response…"

I turn off the TV and stare at the black screen for a moment. So, L decided not to make a public statement. Perhaps the victory was satisfying enough. This case became rather personal, maybe he wanted to end it as a private matter? He's never faced someone like Light Yagami before and it ended up costing him his life. If I were in his position, I couldn't say I'd know what to do. Perhaps saying nothing is best.

The children of Wammy's House are all haunted by demons. Every criminal, every victim, every fallen friend becomes another face that appears behind closed eyes… they are specters who emerge from the darkness that we can never truly be free of. I often wonder if I will see them again after I die. I don't know if L wonders the same thing but I fear for him all the same. Wammy's children have so many ghosts.

_**The Ghosts of Wammy's House: **_

_**When I Was Six**_

_Running through the empty halls of the orphanage, I find the door I was searching for and stop in front of it. Taking a deep, excited breath, I knock my secret knock and wait for an answer. A monotone voice comes from inside, giving me permission to enter. _

_Poking my head in, I see L perched atop his bed in his usual, precarious crouching position, papers and files all strewn around him. "L, please come outside with me," I ask with pleading eyes._

_L doesn't look up for his work even as he answers, "I'm sorry but I'm busy, Annie." _

_I knew this was going to be his response. It's always the same. Still, it deflated me every time. _

_"Pleeeeeease, you never play anymore," I pout. _

_"I have work to do, Annie," he says, those shadowed eyes diligently scanning pages and pages of police records as he pops a gummy Peachie-O in his mouth._

_"But you don't even have a case to solve!" I argue, not caring that I'm acting childish. L has locked himself away far too long and the loneliness has been starting to make me restless._

_"Why don't you go play with A?" He suggests, ignoring my last comment._

_"He's locked himself in his room again," I say, stuffing my hands into the pockets on the front of my dress. He doesn't even attempt to tell me to play with B… he knows we don't get along well. Suddenly, I felt myself light up with a new idea. "I could stay in here and pretend to be a cat," I tell him._

_"Annie..." he begins, his expression disapproving._

_"A really, really quiet cat who'll let you study!" I amended, offering him a hopeful grin._

_L looks to the ceiling thoughtfully then nods in approval, "I guess that's fine."_

_I feel a burst of excitement at my hard-won victory and do a small, albeit quiet, celebratory dance before assuming my role as a cat._

_After a while of stalking fake prey around the room, I grow tired of my game, I crawl up onto the bed and lay on my stomach next to L who was in his usual crouching position. Curious as to what he is doing, I begin reading the case files he has laying out in front of him. Suddenly, I feel his hand on my head, gently stroking my hair back in a petting motion._

"_What are you doing?" I ask, uncertainly._

"_Aren't you pretending to be a cat?" He reminds me, continuing to stroke my head._

"_Oh yeah," I say, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. L scratched behind my imaginary cat ears and I, wanting to be as accurate as possible, curl up and close my eyes. Eventually, I fall asleep as L continues to work. _

_**When I Was Ten:**_

_The dinner bell rang fifteen minutes ago and A is nowhere to be seen. He's well known for locking himself in his room for most of the day, but that's only so he can have privacy while he studies. He is brilliant, amazingly so, but he needs to be completely shut away from the world in order to work. He once told me that outside distractions chew holes through his thoughts, like termites devouring a home. I can't imagine feeling that way. _

_Regardless of A's requirement of solitude, missing a meal isn't like him. He usually sneaks out of his room to get a bite of something to eat every three hours or so and I haven't seen him once the entire day. After I was done with my dinner, curiosity finally got the better of me and I decide to look for A. The most obvious place to start would be his room. Setting my plate in the sink, I head out of the kitchen towards the residence hall. _

_Reaching A's door, I knock gently. A moment passes in silence and then I knock again and call his name before entering. My eyes are immediately drawn upwards to a mass that seems to be floating in the middle of the room. That's when I see A, hanging limply from the ceiling fan, a torn bed sheet wrapped around his neck. My voice catches in my throat as tears immediately spring to my eyes. I can't move, I can't breathe and then all of the sudden my senses come flooding back to me. A horrified scream rips from my throat, filling the empty halls with a terrifying noise. My cry for help is soon answered. I hear the pounding of feet and slamming open of doors down the hall. Watari and L quickly join me in the room. Their eyes are immediately drawn upwards and they both see him at the same time._

"_Oh no," Watari breathes. "Oh- oh no." _

_He desperately tries to get A down as fast as possible, hoping beyond hope that there is still a chance to save him. L stands next to me, his eyes wide and mouth slightly open. He is obviously upset, but we both know our mentor's haste is useless. A is already dead. _

_I feel a presence ghost by the open door and I turn my head to look. I catch B going into his room, his head tucked between his slumped shoulders and a jar of strawberry jam clutched tightly to his chest. I know he wants to be invisible right now… I wish I could be invisible too. _

_Unable to watch Watari's useless attempts to revive the boy, I turn my head and cry silently. Suddenly, I feel L slip his hand into mine. His limp grip tightens, our fingers lacing together, as he awkwardly pulls me into his chest. It is a protective gesture that I am more than grateful for. _

_I cry into his baggy white shirt for a long time during which Watari calls the police. Even as we leave the room, L is still holding onto my hand. He doesn't let go for the rest of the evening._

_The funeral for A is short and depressing. It has an ominous air about it that everyone can feel. His final resting place is on the grounds of the Orphanage, under a large oak tree._

_As he is slowly lowered into the ground, I can't help but wonder if this is what comes from being a successor to L… from trying to attain the unobtainable. I had been rolling an idea around in my mind for the past couple of days- the idea that perhaps only L can be L and we were chasing a fiction in trying to become him. _

_Peering over at B, I see he's tensely rubbing his thumb and forefinger together, as if he's grinding a bug between them. This frightens me. Does he blame L for A's death? Or is he contemplating on how not to end up like A? I can't help but wonder what effect the competition to be L's successor has had on him. _

_As for me, I don't resent L. I could never resent him. Looking up at the young detective, I watch the soft breeze gently move his wild hair and feel a gentle thump in my chest. No one could possibly replace L, I think to myself. For some reason, the very idea is unthinkable to me. He is L, the one and only L. I have the sudden urge to clutch his hand and reassure myself that he isn't going anywhere. In this moment, I realize two things: first, I don't want to be L's successor anymore and second, I never want to leave him. _

_**AN:** PLEASE REVIEW! _Thank you to everyone who did review! You really boost my confidence and encourage me to continue writing this story.


	3. Chapter 3

_**The Demons of Wammy's House:**_

_**When I Was Fifteen:**_

_I hear a noise outside my door and recognize it's the padding of feet making their way down the hall. Pushing the covers off, I slip out of bed and head for the door. Peering out into the hall I see a hunched figure quietly sneaking towards the front of the house. I would have thought it was L if it weren't for the red stains on his white shirt. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes I notice he's carrying a backpack._

_"B?"_

_"Annie..." he sighs, as if it's no surprise I caught him._

_I approach him slowly, like he's an animal and I can't make any sudden movements. Rounding in front of him I see a faint smirk barely tugging at the corner of his mouth. _

_"Where are you going?" I ask, looking into those glassy black eyes of his. They catch light in the dim hallway and form stars that look like little shards of broken glass. It makes him look even more feral than usual… inhuman even._

_"Somewhere else," he answers vaguely, not offering any further information. There's a sick, hollow feeling in my stomach and I realize he's never planning on coming back._

_"You're leaving the orphanage!" I whisper loudly, shocked by the idea. I was never close to B, he scared me, but I can't just allow him to go. He is a successor, a Wammy child. There's only three of us left, we need him to stay here. "Let's go back to your room, we can talk about this…" I say, taking hold of his shoulders and trying to guide him away from the front door. My efforts are met with resistance and soon B takes hold of my shoulders in our silent struggle and backs me against the wall. I could easily fight him off but I don't want to make any noise that would wake the others. So for now, I go with it. _

_"Why are you leaving?" I demand, staring at him through the darkness._

_"L." I see a light spark in those dangerous eyes and it puts knots in my stomach. "He knows what I am. Maybe you do too." He mutters, moving his forearm against my shoulder so he can lick at his ruby-stained fingers. His voice fills me with a sense of foreboding. "I'm not L, never will be, never want to be… but thanks to him, I do know what I _have _to be." he tells me._

_He is so close now that one of his sticky fingers brushes against my cheek like a spider's leg, smudging jam across my high cheekbone. He looks down at the blood-like substance, eyeing it with a curious hunger. His tongue peeks out from his lips and I brace myself for what comes next. My entire body clenches as B closes the tiny bit of distance between us, molding his lips over my cheek and licking off the jam. His breath is hot as a furnace and his mouth disgustingly sticky as he savors the medley of skin and strawberry preserves. My eyes are fixed on the ceiling as I try to imagine myself being absent for this moment. When he finally pulls away, I carefully dislodge myself from his awkward hold._

_I can see him regard me with a practiced smile in the dimness. "You're not going to miss me," he states, neither happy or sad about this fact. _

_"You can't leave," I tell him bluntly. Despite my unease, my tone is commanding. I don't know if this request is for his benefit, L's, or Watari's… it certainly isn't for my own. There's a feeling I have rising from the pit of my stomach and a voice in my head that's telling me we can't lose another one. It's like we're cursed._

_"Why would I stay?" He asks, cocking his head to the side. I can tell he's not looking for an answer but I give him one anyway._

_"Because you're one of us," I tell him with conviction. This is something to be proud of, something that shouldn't be so easily thrown away._

_"But am I really one of you?" he asks teasingly, his tone challenging. It's clear he's convinced he isn't, that he knows he's something other than the good guys. It seems that he's known this for some time… perhaps he's known it all along. _

_I watch B slip out the front door, the porch light throwing his shadow across the entryway like a specter reaching out in the darkness and then suddenly disappearing with the click of the door closing. I'm plunged into blackness once more. _

_Heading back down the hall, a drag in my step, I see L in the darkness. He's peering out his bedroom door, half his body obscured by the doorframe. Easing out into the hall he stares at me, his shadowed eyes wide with concern. Why did he look scared? Suddenly, I realize the red jam smudged across my face and arms looks like blood. My heart grips in my chest and I want to tell him I'm not hurt but instead I say, "B's gone," my voice is quiet and thin as paper. "He left."_

_L's expression becomes deathly serious now. "Let him go," he tells me. I note an air of protectiveness in his manner and a surety that convinces me he's right. I nod remembering what B told me, that L knew something about him that no one else does. Wrapping my arms around myself, I suddenly feel as if I had escaped something terrifying._

_LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL_

_After B left, many changes were made here at Wammy's House. Watari has taken in fifteen new children, all of whom are geniuses in their own right. Among them are two potential successors, Near and Mello. Near reminds me of L quite a bit and I see a lot of myself in Mello._

_The most heartbreaking of these changes is that, before the new children arrived, L went into seclusion. __The world knows him as a letter on a screen... and now, so do the residents of Wammy's House... Including me. He teaches classes via a computer monitor and stays locked up in his rooms whenever he comes home to the orphanage. The only person he will see face-to-face now is Watari._

_I was given no warning that this was going to happen. Nor was I given any explanation as to why. One day, L left for London to investigate a case and I haven't seen him since. Even when he returned, it wasn't like he had come back at all. I went to greet him and was met with a locked door and an awkward sit-down with Watari- him telling me that this was for the best. I didn't talk to him for several days after that. This felt like a betrayal._

_I'm certain L did this because he feels it's for the greater good, but does he not see how insensitive it is? Was this decision difficult for him or did he feel no attachment to me at all? With A dead and B gone, L had become my only friend. I was already close to him, but now he and Watari had become my whole life. Now, I have no one… they left me in a house full of people, and yet I feel completely alone. _

_I know L's here now. We can all tell when L is home because there's a small screen mounted on the wall next to his door. When it's on and a monogram L appears, that means he's home. Kids are allowed to ask him for homework help and other questions._

_I stare at the singular black letter illuminated on the white screen, knots beginning to twist in my stomach. It is cold and heartless, nothing like the L that I know. I need to talk to him... It's been months since I've seen his face and his absence has taken its toll on me. My heart is breaking and I need to at least try to save it. _

_I press my hands against the cold metal door. The smooth surface leeches all the warmth from my skin. My fingers curl into an uncertain fist and I knock twice. The hollow sound from within makes my stomach sink into a pit of loneliness and it's all I can do to begin speaking._

_"L...? L, please open the door," I pleaded softly. "I know you're in there and I just... I just want to talk to you, face-to-face," I tell him. I can hear slight movement from within the room but receive no answer. My cheeks grow hot in a sign of immediate frustration and suddenly, I realize how angry I am with him. "Please, answer me," I say, my voice more demanding than it was pleading._

"_Can I help you, Annie?" The scrambled voice answers. It's as if he's pretending he doesn't know why I'm here._

"_L, this secrecy is ridiculous. Just let me in! I know who you are! What's the sense in hiding from me?... You need me," I tell him. "You need me, L." I say again, trying to convince myself of this fact. "I'm a master in eight different martial arts, I've coached three Olympic fencers (all gold medalists), trained five units of the Secret Service, and have developed a combat/survival program now used to train the top-most agents of MI6. Don't tell me you can't use me. I can be your man on the ground- the one to take action when action is needed. I can do the things you can't and you know this. If I'm not your friend, then at the very least I'm a valuable asset. Just think about it."_

_With that, I turn and begin to walk away. I've said my piece and there is nothing else I could do. I'm so angry and I'm near tears but I don't let them fall._

_Suddenly, I hear the hiss of the metal door opening and L's voice, his real voice, from within the room._

"_Annie, please come in. We have a lot to discuss," he says. _

_**AN:**_Please review! Hey everyone! I hope you're enjoying my story so far and find Annie an interesting character to follow. I really wanted her to be like the missing puzzle piece to L's life and so I had decided early on that her talents would lend her to be more of an operative rather than a brainiac (I think L completely fills that role and is only in need of someone who is yes, smart, but also excels in being more physical... not to mention gets out every now and then).


	4. Chapter 4

**_When I Was Twenty-Three_**

_I ran up the stairs of the old apartment building on light feet, my gun drawn and ready. BB's next victim was supposed to be here. After always being one step behind, L has finally cornered the murderer and has sent me out to retrieve him before he can commit his next murder. Having been L's operative for years now, this is no problem for me._

_Entering the apartment, I clear the area and head directly for the back rooms. Breaking through the door of the second bedroom I see L standing in front of the window, hunched over and looking out at the LA skyline. The sight of him out in the open is jarring, considering he __**never**__ goes out on assignments. _

_He slowly turns his head to look at me in an eerie way that makes me take a cautionary step backwards. He's like a puppet with all the strings cut. An unreadable grin tugs at his lips and the light in his eyes shine dangerously like shards of broken glass. This is wrong, I think to myself, my heart gripping tightly in my chest. There's something amiss about him, lots of little things, such as the light make-up smudges on the collar of his white shirt, the strange ruby red stains under his fingernails, and his stubby-toed feet that look uncomfortable being out of shoes. This was not L. No, this was someone else- someone I haven't seen for quite some time._

_"… B?" I say, slowly training my gun on him._

_"So you figured it out?" He says calmly before letting loose a hollow, practiced laugh. The unfeeling sound makes me want to crawl out of my skin. _

_"L figured it out, but I'm the one who's going to bring you in," I tell him. It feels like the bottom of my stomach was going to fall out any minute. There's something strange in the air that makes me want to wretch. It's a familiar, sweet smell that burns in my nose. _

_"He sent you here alone? How like L," he says with a mocking smile. It's like he knows something I don't, like any second he was going to turn the tables on me. What can it be? I think to myself. I have to figure out what he's going to do. Otherwise, it's game over._

_"Misora and the FBI will be here soon. But given the delicate circumstances of your identity, I'd rather take you in myself. You're under arrest, B," I tell him._

_"Not yet," he chides, wagging a spidery finger at me. "There's still one murder left."_

_I tighten my grip on the gun, my finger slipping closer to the trigger. I'm not going to let him get in my head. "Where is the fourth victim, Beyond?" I demand._

_He doesn't answer me. Instead he keeps talking in that frightening impression of L's voice. It's clear he wants to unravel my nerves. "Why are you doing this, B?"_

_"It's for L, of course. Every hero needs a villain, Orphan. L was always the hero wasn't he? So my role is clearly the villain... the world's greatest criminal. I have to beat him. The one who surpasses L," he says, taking a step towards me._

_"Don't move!" I sternly warn him, pointing the gun right at his chest with conviction._

_"... Am I making you uncomfortable? It's something about that fourth victim isn't it? Makes your hands itch…" I feel my heart grip in my chest once more. Beyond tilts his head and smiles a fake smile. "I'm not the only one who's here for L, though. Am I right?"_

_"Shut up!" I yell. That visceral reaction seemed to come out of nowhere, and for a split second, betrayed my every emotion. My cheeks are burning bright red and I can see B knows he has control now. _

_"You're his man on the ground, an extension of his person, the queen on the chess board that does whatever the hand above it commands. You are so close to him aren't you? Yet, at the same time, you're never as close as you want to be."_

_"Shut up!" I yell, angry he would even pretend to know how I feel about L. "Who is the next victim, B?"_

_His answer is simple. "You are."_

_My heart stops and suddenly I'm getting tunnel vision. My mind is screaming at me to run but I don't. Instead I decide to cling to the slim chance that he's bluffing, that I can outsmart him, and continue to point my gun at him._

_Now he's anxiously rubbing his fingers together, like he's crushing something between them in his excitement. His plan has nearly come to fruition and the absence of strawberry jam is most likely getting to him. "I don't have my usual tools so I'm going to take it nice and slow with you. L will be mad if I don't show you due respect, you are a Wammy prodigy after all," he explains._

_"I want to know… is this personal?" _

_"Between you and me...? No. But you are a means to a perfect end to this battle between L and I. You are neither a detective nor a criminal. You are an operative. Operatives are tools… and tools get used."_

_My heart is about to explode and I almost pull the trigger when a voice rings out from the front of the apartment. "FBI! Come out with your hands up!"_

_"In here!" I yell hoarsely, wanting nothing more than to get away from this monster._

_B regards me with those shining black eyes, those sharp-as-glass stars dancing within them. "Oh, I guess we're out of time," he says with false regret. "Too bad. Have fun chasing L… I sure did."_

_With that, he reaches down and pulls a lighter from his jeans pocket and snaps the flame on. The bedroom door slams open just in time for Misora and I to see Beyond go up in flames. That sweet smell from earlier, it was lamp oil. _

_"Get Back!" Misora yells, grabbing the collar of my coat and yanking me away from him. Soon the room begins to catch alight and I come to my senses. I'm stumbling backwards, out of the way of the growing inferno. B cackles out in manacle joy as he goes up in flame but soon he's screaming in sheer agony. The sound pierces my heart and sends me running towards him. _

_"What are you doing!" Misora cries as I rip off my long coat and throw it and myself atop B. We collapse onto the wood floor and I am frantically batting the fabric to extinguish the flames. B's animal cries from under the coat are the only thing I can hear as Misora pulls me off of him. _

_"We'll die too if we don't get out!" She says, choking on smoke. _

_I know I can save him, though the flames are all around us. I grab onto his wrist to drag him out with us but the charred flesh peels off like a glove, burning me as I'm pulled away to safety. B is left in the room to die, to burn to death. Perhaps he thinks it's his punishment for not surpassing L._

_LvBB LvBB LvBB LvBB LvBB LvBB _

_"It turns out that B intended himself to be the fourth victim," Misora says to one of her comrades, as we watch B being loaded into the back of the ambulance._

_It turns out that he had somehow survived the fire. I don't dare think that it was because of my efforts. A part of me is angry at myself for even attempting it. B is a sociopath and a murderer, why the sudden urge to show him mercy? … And was it even an act of mercy to begin with? For some reason I doubted it._

_I don't bother telling Misora B said I was to be the fourth victim. If there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's that Wammy children are liars… all of us. We conceal facts, use trickery, and play with emotions, all to conceal our true intentions… L is a liar, I am a liar, so was A and B is too. _

_A policeman then approaches and informs us that B's critically injured, not to mention maimed by his suicide attempt. He's to be detained at the hospital until he is well enough to be transferred to prison. With his injuries, escaping custody is impossible. Misora and I both agree that that's fine. The likelihood of him surviving is slim anyways. At any rate, it doesn't really matter, my job is done and so is L's. It appears my attachment to B is nothing now. _

_It seems that the pressure of being L's successor had broken him, just as it had broken A. But B never wanted to be L, he railed against it the moment he recognized the futility in attempting it. None of us are L's match and we always knew it. B hated the idea of modeling himself after L so much, he wanted to transform into an anti-L. It seems that this new persona had consumed him. _

_A limo pulls up to the curb and I know it's for me. Watari steps out of the back seat and holds the door open for me. Not bothering to check out with the FBI or LA police, I head over to the car. Like I said, my job is done. _

_Once we're both inside, the car door gets pulled shut and I look out the window at the ambulance. A lone tear rolls down my cheek and I bite my lip to stave off more from coming. I feel a shift in weight beside me and an arm around my shoulders. I peer over to find Watari regarding me with those gentle, aged eyes. He looks at me as if I am a child he wishes he could spare from the pains of this world. How I wish he could. But I am no longer a child and this is the life I have chosen for myself. _

_Nursing my burned hand, I take comfort in knowing that L is safe… L is safe, Watari is safe, and the people of LA are safe. B is just one more monster slain… one of thousands. Justice doesn't sleep, it doesn't pity, and it certainly doesn't weep. _

_"Don't cry," Watari comforts, gently squeezing my shoulders. _

_"I'm not," I say, coldly flicking away the tear hanging from my jaw. B was family up until the moment he wasn't. All who's left now is Watari and L._

So that's the end of this round of flashbacks :) next chapter is "Day 3" of L's last 23 days :_( ... don't expect flowers and sunshine. Sorry, I seem to be writing quite the downer but I thank you all so much for your support and wonderful reviews! Keep it up and I hope to have the next chapter out sooner than this one.


	5. Chapter 5

**Day 3:**

**Bad News**

When I enter the Kira Task Force Headquarters, the first thing I notice is that all the security equipment has been disabled. The building is like an empty shell, devoid of life or purpose. Calling the elevator, I don't even have to use my ID to access it. I feel exposed, almost vulnerable, in what is supposed to be the most secure safe houses in the world. Kira is dead… what's more he was hiding among us in this building the whole time, so there is no reason to take precautions anymore. But still, I feel there should be something left here to guard us… even if it is just to quell my paranoia. After all, L has always been guarded by a locked door, it seems wrong not having one now.

Reaching the desired floor, I step out of the elevator and enter the sitting room. I half expected to hear L greet me over the loudspeaker as I made my way down the hall but it seems he's given that up too. I find him sitting in his usual armchair by the coffee table. My heart skips a beat as I stare at the back of his head in a moment of unsure silence. A part of me feels like I should have called beforehand… but it was too late for that now. It was too late for a lot of things.

"Annie…" he says softly. He knows it's me without even having to turn around.

"Congratulations," I say, gathering my courage as I close the door and cross over to him. L nods and a sad, close-lipped grin tugs at the corners of his mouth as if to say, 'justice has prevailed'. Even through my disappointment, I can't help but return the sentiment. It almost feels nice to smile again but this moment is short-lived.

He looks so tired and worn out, more so than usual. It makes me want to kick myself for leaving him alone. He needed my support these last couple days and I was off brooding selfishly. It seems that the regrets just seem to be piling up by the second.

Reaching into my bag, I pull out a tub of strawberry ice cream I had picked up at the store on my way over. "I thought we might celebrate," I say.

Setting the peace offering between us, I stick two spoons I had brought into the frozen dessert and wait for him to make the next move. He doesn't budge and I immediately know something is wrong.

"L?" I ask tentatively, afraid he might bring up the kiss. He doesn't, what he says is much worse.

"Watari is dead," he tells me. "Light… no, Kira, killed him."

"W-what?"

My heart stops dead in my chest only to resume life with a heavy thump against my ribs. It feels like I've suddenly been hit by a bus- like my soul is floating above both L and myself, watching as we stand here staring at one another in dead silence for what feels like forever.

As I float back down to reality, my voice slowly returns to me. "N-no, that's not possible… I just saw him the other night…"

"I'm afraid it is," L confirms. "Before his recent demise, Kira had written both Watari's and my name in the Death Note. Previous to this, I had written my own name in the other existing notebook, specifying that I would die of a heart attack in twenty-three days. This action had cancelled out Kira's attempt to kill me because I already made the first move and bought myself more time. However, I did not foresee he'd discover Watari's true name as well and write it in the Death Note. His death is my fault. I'm sorry, I don't know how else to tell you," he apologizes, aware and regretful that this is not the most sensitive way to relay this information to me- he's never been one to sugarcoat anything. There is sadness pooling in his wide black eyes and it's all I can do not to fall apart on the spot.

"W-why did he not kill me?" I ask, realizing I almost sound disappointed.

L anxiously rubs his bare feet together, one atop the other, as he places his hands on his knees. "The only thing I can think of is that Kira had his accomplice take action sometime after you left a day ago."

My heart is breaking… I can feel it. It's as if someone has taken an ice pick and is hammering away at the protective armor around it. Crack-by-crack, it is forcibly being split in two. Soon, I will be exposed, with nothing to protect me from that final staking. I press my hand to my lips and shake my head in denial as I try to process the death of our mentor and friend.

L's eyes are drawn to the ground as he grips tighter to his knees. Those permanent circles under his eyes, the painful curving of his back, and the need to cram down every sweet thing he sees… I always thought of them as endearing quirks but now I recognize them for what they truly are. They are the physical manifestations of the emotions he keeps so well hidden. They are the results of suppressing the pain that came from being a champion of justice. Everyday of his life he's had to look into the face of evil and witness the limitless horrors of human cruelty. L is the strongest man I know, but how can this life not take its toll on him? Now, he too is trying to deal with the pain of loss and for this one moment I find myself wishing that he actually is the cold sociopath people believe him to be. At least then he wouldn't be hurting. Twenty days from now, he won't be feeling anything thanks to a young man whom he called his friend.

Light Yagami… the boy who managed to steal the only two people I loved from me… I want to kill him. My fists clench tightly and my teeth grit together as rage pooled up inside of me. No matter how irrational it sounds, I want to kill him… and for some reason I feel like I can. That, if I run outside right now, I can find him. I don't care if he's dead I'll drag him back from hell itself and kill him with my bare hands.

Before I know it, the impossibility of this idea becomes quite apparent and I lose what little composure I have. Soon, I'm burying my face in my hands, angry tears spread over my palms and down my cheeks as I slowly lower myself to the ground beside L's chair. I'm in his signature position, pressing my forehead into my knees.

"I'm sorry," I apologize weakly, moving my hands to my hair, brushing errant strands out of my face. There's nothing I can do to fix this situation, nothing to stop what has already happened. Watari is dead and there's nothing that either of us can do about it. "... I'm sorry."

Then I feel the chair shift behind me as L gingerly steps down from it so he can sit on the floor next to me. I feel his long fingers in my hair as he awkwardly presses my head into his shoulder, his other arm wrapping around my back. He takes in a measured breath and pulls me closer to him in an attempt to comfort me. My body is twisted uncomfortably in his arms but I don't care, I want to envelop myself in him… to hold on tightly and prove that he has not yet left me. I need to know that there's still one person I love left in this world, even if it isn't for much longer.

Closing my eyes, I hold onto the front of L's shirt tightly. I keep thinking about all that fighting, all that training, all that psyching myself up... I did it in order to be ready to face Kira, and for what? All of it was useless in the face of that notebook. I failed to protect Watari, and in turn, I failed L. He may not see it that way, in fact I know he blames himself, but I know the truth… Watari's safety was my responsibility.

Soon I am too exhausted to cry, too tired to remain in this straining position, and I curl up beside L. Leaning up against him, I close my eyes. It doesn't take long before my eyelids feel like heavy weights and I am enveloped in blackness.

AN: Please Review! Day 3 continued is up next. L has 20 days left, find out what he plans to do with them in the next chapter (hint, it's not living his life out peacefully in a beach house with Annie... that would just be boring). Hope you enjoyed!


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